It’s a hard time to be in a relationship in the first place: shorter attention spans, “me first” attitudes and people spending more time on computers than with loved ones. Maintaining a relationship while pursuing a musical career seems even a bigger challenge. But of course, it can be done.
A. How Serious is it?
It’s important to establish the seriousness of a relationship. Do you talk about the future? Do the two of you have a game plan (where to live, children, etc.) Before you try to fit someone in to a difficult schedule or situation, you need to ask yourself the hard question: Am I really serious about this person?
B. How Stable is it?
Being in the music business poses very particular challenges. Most accountants don’t have underwear thrown at them, for instance! Fans abound and want to get to know you as intimately as possible. Your relationship must contain a deep level of trust and commitment to endure these tests. You as the musician have to be an understanding person who can empathize with some of the insecurities that may arise.
C. Can you Make Time for it?
It’s tough as you find yourself becoming more successful – or even more committed – to your musical pursuits. It can feel all-consuming. But it’s important for your relationship (as well as your emotional health) to take the time to connect with someone you love. Relationships are about maintenance. They don’t run themselves. Besides, do you really want to be that singularly focused? Life is short and people matter!
There is no easy recipe here. But love and connectivity matter in this life. Practically speaking, you get more done when you feel that sense of emotional support. But guess what? You have to give support as well. And therein lies the rub. Can you manage emotional availability and a musical career?
Of course you can but will you?
Filed under: relationships | Tagged: musician, relationship
