Whether you want admit it or not, part of joining a band is the eternal ego stroke. As you become a more skilled artist, the need for “Look at me! Look at me!” gives way for something deeper and longer lasting. But there is always a narcissist lurking somewhere in the shadows!
It all seems like a good thing at first. It is part of the picture, isn’t it? You’re in a band and one of the best bonuses is the adoring fan. And if a cute one wants to adore you behind closed doors, who are you to stand in the way?
Well before you dive into all that um, adoration, think twice. First off, are you in a committed relationship? Oh that’s right – you forgot! It’s easy to do while on the road. Sure you send your daily “I love you” texts in between sets but the rest of the time, you’re surrounded by temptations that are more than happy to stroke your…ego.
If you are in a committed relationship and are battling with the need to know your fan base more intimately, you may want to ask yourself – and call me crazy – this question:
Why are you in a committed relationship?
This is what we call the “have your cake and eat it too” syndrome and it’s none too fair to the parties involved. You like to have the safety and security of your high school sweetheart waiting back home …but damn, that chick in the front row is smoking!
It’s one or the other, my friend. You need to grow up and grow some. Either break it off with high school sweetheart or take a cold shower after the show.
If you are available and want to hook up with the random girl (or guy) on the road, it’s your life. Remember there are a few things to be concerned about:
1. STD’s
Diseases are not fun. Some of them are for life. If you’re going to look for love in the all the wrong places at least wear a condom. Bring a big box with you before you hit the road. Give them to your band members. Have them handy and ready to go.
2. Emotions
We’re humans. And while we’d love to believe that sex is something we can “grab on the go,” remind yourself that a lot of the times when we want sex, we’re also looking for a little intimacy as well. One night stands after a show can feel great at the time but leave you a little hollow afterwards.
3. Sleep Deprivation
Touring is notoriously tough. It’s broken many bands and marriages. Your health can suffer, both physically and mentally. One precaution touring pros take is making sure they eat well, drink plenty of water and sleep. A roll in the hay after every show can lead to exhaustion if you don’t watch it, Romeo.
4. It is about the music, right?
Sure, the attention is great. That guy that wouldn’t have noticed you 3 years ago is hanging on your every word backstage. But remember, when it’s all said and done, you are on the road to showcase your music. Keep the focus and you won’t fall into a pothole.
Filed under: Lessons, Performance, health, relationships | Tagged: musician, relationship coach, relationships, sex
